those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
