we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
