Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
