Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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