yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
