In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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