My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
