All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
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I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
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So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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