like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
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