I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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