try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
