the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
