the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
420 ftw
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
