I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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