Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
