Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
