You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
