Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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