Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
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he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
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I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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