"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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