Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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