Whod you bang
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
then he tried to convert me to islam
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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