Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
