As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
