I bet he comes in French.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
