No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
