I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
