If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
