Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
