is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is Oprah even human
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
