Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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