Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
