Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
