At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
honey bunches of taint.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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