I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
