I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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