So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
