we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
