You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
