hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Randomize
