Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
