i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Boobs are out for the taking
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
