yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
