if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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