Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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