Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize