i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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