i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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