My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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