They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
