My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
