I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
