My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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