That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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