hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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