did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
