good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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