I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Randomize